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| A NEW CHANGE OF PLAN MEANS I WON'T BE A PIN CUSHION THIS TIME ROUND |
2 - 26 Aug
Of course after each negative result or loss one of the things I dread the most is that FAILURE APPOINTMENT with Dr J taking us through all the medical info & scientists reports & discussing what went wrong & what we can try next. The loss this time is being blamed on my getting sick with the gastro more & it more than likely caused me to miscarry again. Prior to getting sick everything with the scans looked good & one of the things Dr J always comments on is how great my lining always looks & says "If I was an embryo that lining is perfect & I would stay!"
I am sick & tired of this whole process & feel like a pillow that has had its stuffing ripped out BUT I can't give this up as I have said countless times we want a child so much - so what do you do?
It was time to get serious & Dr J made a list with about 6 options and we are starting with option number one. That is doing a minimal stimulation cycle. Instead of injections I will take clomid tablets with the aim being for me only to produce 4-6 eggs instead of the 10 or so they normally want. Dr J is hopeful that trying this method of less stimulation producing less eggs mean's better quality ones.
A lot further down the list are things like donor eggs. We briefly discussed this & it is something I would do, but to be faced with the fact at that moment that you may never have your own biological child is quite painful & hard to take. Yes I know being a parent is more than biology but again, when you meet & marry your partner & plan a family one day - well you don't plan for or imagine you will have to make decisions like this.
I had a scan Mon 8 Aug and there were a few small follicles so I go back for another scan on the 10th. Dr J did tell me that this may not work at all, but after 6 attempts we decided it was worth a try. We may get nothing and not be able to do an egg pick up so this all would have been a waste of time. If we only get 4 eggs & the quality of them, combined with our other issues is no better I will have nothing to transfer.
Medication this cycle was a tablet called Clomid & I was looking forward to a cycle with no needles, unfortunately the clomid has made me feel quite sick and a few hours after taking it each day I get a shocking migraine......... (there had to be a catch didn't there!)
So as we were warned, today 12 Aug the scan confirmed this new protocol did not work & only produced 2 eggs which is not enough to go ahead with an egg pick up. Feeling frustrated by this news, Dr J suggested so all the drug taking had not been a total waste of time an IUI (insemination) with the donor sperm. I'm booked in for this tomorrow. Dr J thinks the chances of an IUI working are very slim but we may as well give it a try as in this gambling game of fertility one never knows.
If this does not work (& all the stats do not look good) then its back to antagonist cycles & IVF/ICSI till it does work.
Not ready to give up yet
Of course as expected just before it was time to do a home test I started bleeding so we knew it was another big fat negative. Well you don't know till you try.
Bring on Round 8 of IVF/ICSI..............
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