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| HAPPY 38TH BIRTHDAY TO ME |
Met with Dr J and discussed what had happened with the first cycle (in future I came to call these 'the failure appointments'. The egg quality wasn't great which was most likely to do with the amount of eggs we got by my getting overstimulated, also there were sperm issues as well as depending on what days the number of eggs drop off points to which is the issue & causing things like fragmentation etc.. Dr J decided another type of cycle called a down reg might be the go & hopefully not stimulate me as much.
So with a different medication & plan, I started the jabbing & sniffing again, my 38th birthday arrived & when we went out to lunch with the family. My biggest hope & wish was that this time next year, there would have to be room made at the table for one more OR a little one was on its way.
The scans again, I didn't realise this would be such a pain! Dr J has a heavy schedule so a lot of times the appointments for scans are at 6.30 am etc....... I'm not a morning person, I'm not a grouch I just need to wake up slowly and would much rather stay awake till all hours of the night than get up early. So dragging your behind out of bed to be at the Dr's by 6.30am to be poked & prodded for an internal ultrasound is not the best way to start ones day. Again scan 1 didn't look promising so it was come back the day after next & increase the dosage. Scan 2 things had improved a little but we weren't ready for egg pick up so you guessed it, come back again for another scan.
Finally we were good to go for egg pick up so an early morning admission time of 7am again BUT I do get to go to sleep soon so its ok, the worst part is all the pre-op questions and the number of times those same questions get repeated. No I don't smoke, no I don't have contact lenses, no I don't have (insert any number of condition's in here).
I woke up in recovery to discover this time we didn't get 20 eggs NO we got 23 eggs. The clinic nurse came and had the same talk with me again about embryo transfer not going ahead and all the signs & symptoms of OHSS. Again I left hospital feeling a little deflated that a transfer may not happen. I was fine for 24 hours then in the middle of the night started to get bad stomach pains, these got worse as the day progressed & by the next morning I could not stand up straight and it hurt to pass urine. Dr J saw me ASAP and said I had OHSS, she did an ultrasound which showed a lot of fluid & that my ovaries were very swollen. I was prescribed some medication for the pain & told to go straight to hospital if it got worse.
Now the scientist phone calls - this went pretty much the same way as the previous cycle, with each phone call the embryo number kept dropping. Dr J still had me booked in for a transfer on the condition she examine me on the day & if she thought I had recovered from OHSS the transfer would go ahead. I got the all clear and again only 1 embryo was left so it was placed back, I was disappointed there were no extras to freeze 'just in case'.
Again I was in the 2WW and resting up, taking my progesterone & doing everything as planned. During the 2WW I would have all these happy thoughts fill my head of whether it would be a boy or girl, how I would tell people, being able to put the news in Christmas cards to people we don't see that often, making posts on facebook etc.... My blood test was due again on a Friday and on that Monday the exact same thing happened, I started bleeding again. This hit me a little harder than the first failure & a fear of 'what if this doesn't work' started to creep up on me. Poor H arrived home to a distressed me & he felt just as disappointed as I did. H is SUPER positive though & was sure this was going to work out. I also knew I would have to do another full cycle from scratch seeing we had nothing on ice.
I wasn't giving up & was ready to take on round 3 which would end up being my first really heartbreaking experience.
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