I'm so thrilled with the angel that found us, not only is she doing something so incredible for us but getting to know her more over the past few weeks she is a fun & fabulous girl whom if we'd met any other way I know we would have become fast friends. I could wax lyrical for hours & write non stop about how lovely she is, not because she is doing this but because we have so much in common BUT I will try to keep this post not too long.
This is a first for us both, we are the first couple she has donated to. After reading so much online about what a lot of potential donors want & expect from the recipient & the future relationship they have with the child I was a little scared, some donors treat egg donation almost treat it like adoption & want regular visits & all kinds of things that scared me a little.
Since our first contact our angel (who we shall call A) started emailing pretty much non stop about all kinds of things. Firstly there was a lot of info about the process & arranging times for her to come to us seeing she lives in another state. But we also started just talking like girls in general do & found we had an awful lot in common. A is getting married later in the year so we have talked a lot about her wedding & wear to find things & talking about things we did all those years ago to save money. Our emails were certainly not stiff & informal and I spoke to A like I do anyone & I'm pretty sure that's how she spoke with me.
She asked if it would be OK if we had a chat on the phone & I thought why not? & was quite excited by the idea. She called me on her birthday (we knew it was her birthday from all the info she provided for us to give to Dr J & the clinic, so we had sent her a birthday card as a surprise!) when she called she was driving to the Zoo & we ended up talking for her whole trip (nearly an hour). There was never once an awkward pause (wish talking to boys on the phone as a teenager had been this easy) and neither of us drew breath.
Besides talking a little about some of the technical things & what to expect with her appointments on Mar 6 we discussed anything & everything. We have a mutual love of Twilight & are both Team Edward, love a great bargain, talked about how we met our partners, in fact we covered so many topics & bounced from one thing to the next I can't remember them all. When we said goodbye I had a huge smile on my face as I had enjoyed out chat so much. She also got a lovely surprise with our birthday card!
The emails continued & text's which often had nothing to do with IVF & donation, and as she has found another couple to be an Angel for after us, there clinic has asked her a lot of questions about donor/recipient relationships going forward & she sent them to me asking would I mind answering but it was OK if I didn't want to. I will post the questions on a separate page as they maybe of use to someone else looking for a donor. A had already put her answers down the bottom of the email but I went ahead and filled it out & then read her answers. We were totally in sync with everything, from what type of future contact we would both like to what would happen with excess embryos etc....
Thursday the phone went out of the blue and it was A, I think we racked up a 90 minute call this time!! We discussed the questions a little bit more & there was one questions she hadn't included as she felt funny about it & it was along the lines of how the child would be raised, religion, discipline etc.. she said she had discussed this with her partner & they both felt although the child is biologically half hers, that she is donating an egg not giving away a baby & apart fron the fact they hoped the child was not going into an abusive home, they didn't really feel they had a say in the raising of the child.
I was happy to discuss this question with her anyway & told her as we have been trying since 2007 we already had ideas on how we would raise a child, even what school it will attend etc... I even told her when she comes up she will see the school we have picked as its right near our home & our neighbours children attend. We could have been two peas in a pod, as everything I said we wanted for our child & how we would like to raise it is almost exactly how they raise & discipline there children. On a funny note her mother is very supportive of her doing this & would loved to have been a donor herself but time got away, she kids my Angel that I am going to give her the girl she has wanted seeing she let her down by having boys!!! (joking of course) I think that is very cute!!
After that we discussed stories about growing up, favourite foods, hair styles, clothes, hunky actors & had a typical female conversation that was fun & again left me hanging up in a very good mood & smiling from ear to ear.
As we friended each other on facebook (she told me I could delete her if I didn't want to stay friends) I said that would be a great way if we are blessed with a successful pregnancy, going forward over the years for her to see pictures of the child etc... & email or call me if she wants any copies to keep. We both expressed we would like to meet up after the baby is born as if it was not for her, I wouldn't have the child but I also feel it would be very rewarding for her to see the family she helped create. We discussed staying in contact as we are now (may be less often is she has donors she has to concentrate her time on) & catching up from time to time whenever the opportunity arises (seeing we live in different states) and various other things we were 100% in agreement with going forward. We are both super excited & counting down the days till Mar 6 (which now it not far off) & we can't wait to meet in person.
H & I were both so scared & anxious heading down this path of finding a donor, getting to know a stranger & the chances of getting on with them under any circumstance can be rare, yet to put an advert out there seeking for someone to donate their eggs for you to have a family & the chances you get on with this person & have similar ideals & values - I didn't think that would happen. Once again fate has looked after me & I really must have my own angel looking out for me as back in 96 fate arranged for H & I to meet & now she has not let me down & looked after me again by sending me the most amazing angel egg donor.
Whoever you are, my angel up there THANK YOU xoxo
